‘Twas The Night Before Christmas
Originally written by Clarent Clark Moore
Revised by Dr. Rick Rubinstein:
‘Twas the night before Christmas
When all through Park Ave,
Not a machine was whirring;
We’d closed down the lab.
Laana posted an ad on Craigslist with great care,
In the hope that some responses soon would be there.
Mary was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of Taco Bell danced in her head.
Doctor John, in his lab coat and Charlie Brown tie,
Was sitting at his desk with a hot soy bean pie;
When out in the waiting area there arose a loud call–
Barbara was handing out apples for all!
Away to the window Doctor John flew like a flash;
And climbing on through was Sharon, with Ash.
The weather was cool on this winter day of course,
So Alex put a blanket, gloves, and boots on her horse.
Doctor John’s eyes were tearing because it was smoky,
But he saw a miniature sleigh pulled by Od’hinn and Loki
With two little drivers with an omnipresent glow;
He knew in a moment, it must be Carol & Joe.
More rapid than eagles, the boarders – they came,
And Doctor John whistled, shouted, and called them by name;
Now Rusty, now Braveheart, now Isis and Sisi;
On Miley, on Sophie, on Lucy and Missy!
To the back of the kennel and into the runs,
Now dash away! Dash away! Move, and shake your buns!
And then in a twinkling, he heard someone howl;
It was Jess on the roof, with a hawk and an owl!
As he drew in his head and turned with his eye,
Down the chimney came Becky with a hot Papa John’s pie
It was covered with sausage and made a big ring
So Laana, Mary, and Sharon ate the whole darn thing.
Amber was crawling around on her knees,
Cause A.J. had crawled under the Christmas tree.
The dogs in the back were all howling for food,
So Emilie and Gina fed the whole brood.
Doctor Rick greeted clients with handshakes and smiles
While dressed in his gym clothes – he’d just run ten miles.
Hamlet was sprawled on the doc’s office floor,
While Ophelia went to the lobby to explore.
The computers had crashed, AVIMark was a mess,
But all we had to do was call Barbara, Alex, Amber, and Jess
Carol and Becky put some catheters in
A big Saint Bernard and a Japanese Chin
Seaver was waiting alone in a room
For Lanelle to give him a cute Christmas groom
The website was failing, our situation was dim;
But in there to fix it were Mary and Kim
Doctor John laid his finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, off his chair did he rose.
He sprang to the front and gave a big shout,
“Everyone finish, and get the heck out!”
But I heard him exclaim as they drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night!”